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DISCLAIMER: This site is an opinion/criticism of a literary publication, and is therefor protected under free speech and fair use.

Street Sweeper Fuckazine

From Yuri Buhler comes Issue 2 of Street Sweeper Magazine, where, as always, he reviews only the kind of music he likes, the videos he watches, the skate park he goes to, and also cuts down everything he doesn't understand.

I'll tell you who the hell started this "hacker" trend. My friends and I! Excerpt from Article:

"Or 'haxor', whatever the hell you want to call yourself. I mean, adding the suffix '-xor' to the end of every word is just plain stupid. I thought hackers were supposd to be underground people who didn't do anything except look at data on spreadsheets and gather data from corrupt government websites, not these CS geeks who play Everquest or CounterStrike at home and have dinky little web pages...[snip] and try to pose as skaters or something. [snip] Burnzor in Hellzor!"

I think he had just a LITTLE bit too much crack here. It was plainly obvious that this was directed at my friends and I...but it's also painfully obvious why he did it. The fact that he has no friends might have something to do with it...That is corraborated by the statements at the bottom of his "magazine", right below dissing everyone who knows about computers and people who skate but still suck at it.

Exerpt, edited to make the meaning more clear:

"Why does every girl speak so quietly to me? I never hear them making fun of me."

"Is it okay to go to a movie with a girl and not make out? Because I don't."

"Why am I having so many thoughts about guys...oh, cuz I'm gay."

"Why are all the 9th grade girls hotter than the 10th grade girls? At least I have a chance with them, they don't know how stupid and fat I am yet."

There are pleanty of other good quotes too! Just get a load of the front cover:

Two flamers riding bikes...naturally. He likes looking at men after riding a bicycle.

And finally, the Pogs contest. If you bring in a pog, you get a CUSTOM DESIGNED Street Sweeper pog. Yay...pogs went out of style in what, 1992? That's SOOOOOOOOOOOO 20th century.

Stay tuned for more fun-filled issues of Street Sweeper Fuckazine!